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Fear can be the ultimate motivator!

We all have fears, we may not even consciously be aware of our Fears as recently there has been a phenomenon of social conformity or " the three fear cultures."

1. Aversion; 'this isn't enough' so you do whatever it takes to avoid shame

2. Scarcity; 'There isn't enough', so you become hypercompetitive, protective or selfish

3. Unworthiness; 'I'm not enough' self-acceptance is conditional; failure will happen, we will never meet expectations.

Without knowing it we mask our fears as "I have to work harder", "I have to know more first", "I have to make XXX amount of money." Notice how these sound more like goals but don't be fooled they all have one thing in common and that is a Fear that you are not good enough, there isn't enough and it's not enough.

Doing this you limit yourself to taking the next step to move forward and identify what your true fear is once you can do this you can turn your feelings into excitement, how is this possible? You must be very skeptical by now but it's a very simple concept. There was a study done at Yale University where a group of 50 students was asked to do 8 tasks that involved motor and cognitive skill, as students completed each task they were given bigger rewards as the tasks would get more difficult and involve a greater reward $2000.

What the study showed was that most students after the 3rd or 4th task could not complete the others to get the greater reward, to show that this was not Bias they took the study to India where $2000 is significantly more than for an American student and the results were even worse most couldn't get past task 2.

Baca juga Structure - Limitation or Limitless?

The study concluded that this was because the reward was larger so the fear was greater and the fear of making a mistake, the added expectation and pressure actually added more limitations and hesitations. The main point here is that no matter how large the reward if we allow fear to control our thoughts and actions then we will never be able to get those rewards.

So that explains how the bigger the reward is the greater the fear. At the beginning of this article, I mentioned that Fear can be turned into excited so by that logic we can rewire our brain to process the fear into excitement. How? It's actually a very natural process because research shows that both Fear and Excitement are emotions controlled by our hypothalamus.

This is what creates that "Fight or Flight" experience, like when you feel in danger, your heart starts to pound fast, your hair on the back of your neck might start to stand. For us to overcome this Fear and turn it into Excitement we need to switch to Fight mode, the way to do this is to know that you are in control, you are at wheel and you have the knowledge to control the situation, now how can you do this when trying something new? Well the key is to make it a habit of being comfortable doing what you fear, he's some ways to get started.

Ask yourself and write down 30 things you are afraid to do, go ahead and do that; now rank those activities on a 1-5 scale a little intimidating to most intimidating. 

You might have a list like this:
1. Sing in front of others
2. Record and upload a youtube video
3. Write an article
4. Speak in public
5. Talking about price

Now put one of these activities into your calendar and commit to doing 1 activity a day, start from the 1s and work your way up. As you do this you may first feel anxiety, work through yourself, listen to some music, and dance a bit or meditate to calm yourself and then do it! Just do it! Be brave! Be you! Be outstanding!

Remove your judgment and expectations. Just do it and reflect on how it felt, the emotions you went through how it felt once the activity was completed. keep doing that every day and you will have rewired your brain to make Excitement a habit rather than Fear! If you are in a position that requires you to lead, help others overcome their fears! then you need to recognize your fears first, transform yourself, overcome your fears.

"Only those who have changed themselves can change others" -Socrates-

Do this and continue to ask yourself:
1. What experiences do you want to have?
2. What has been stopping you? 
3. How can you schedule a time to do it?
4. What support will you need?
5. How can these experiences fulfill your needs?

Don't let Fear control you, accept yourself and remove and fake expectations. Facing our fears may not be easy especially when they have been engrained as trauma but by rewiring your brain you can change your habit. Don't be afraid to get help and support, this can be the greatest fear we all have "a scarred ego" but if this is something you've been avoiding then try this. 

Ask yourself:
1. When did you first avoid it?
2. What has been the outcome so far?
3. What shaped your reality to avoid asking for help?
4. What effects could this have now and to your future?

I hope this can help you get started on your quest to overcome your fears and don't be afraid to reach out to me for support if you want to know more. 

"Our habits decide our future our experiences decide how successful our future will be" - David Baldwin

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