Alexandria Tjai, ACC 3 years ago

For coaches, this article lists some benefits throughout coaching sessions and provides a better understanding of the impacts of coaching to both coahees and coaches.

For coachees, it illustrates a coach’s experience to enable them to better understand how a coach feels throughout coaching sessions and the importance of the experience for both coachees and coaches.

Note:

Coach – someone who coaches and delivers a coaching session by asking powerful and useful questions to provoke a coachee to gain awareness of his/ her situation.

Coachee/ client – someone who is coached and asked questions so that he/ she can achieve his/ her personal and/or professional goals.

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Coaching is a systematic process of a ‘thought-provoking and creative’ discussion between a coach and a coachee/ client that is aimed to achieve coachee’s certain goals, such as business, leadership, sales, or even love life, to enhance personal growth.  Throughout the process, a coachee explores all possibilities in order to maximize one’s true potential so that the aims are achieved (Arsendatama, Coaching Indonesia).

At the end of a session, it is very common to ask a client what one has gained from the discussion. However, as a coach, no one has ever asked me such a question, which makes sense because the focus has always been on the coachee. It got me thinking – what if I asked myself the same question. Surprisingly, no sooner had I done that than coaching led me to some wonderful journeys.

A Journey to Self-Discovery

It is important to be ourselves, but it is crucial to know who we are. I remember one said self-discovery can only be achieved after spending some quiet moments with ourselves in silence. I am sure silence makes most of us uncomfortable. Imagine not talking and just looking at each other during a meeting; it might be eerie for some of us.

On the contrary, in coaching sessions, it is necessary to make time to think, be present and be in silence. This is an important moment for coachees to digest questions or their own answers and for coaches to analyze the messages from the clients so that useful questions to provoke creative thinking can be created. And I, being the assertive me, failed to comply at first. I still do occasionally, but I persevere.

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Once a coachee asked me if I was in sales and marketing. I was dumbfounded thinking how he knew it - during my corporate tenure, revenues had been my target. He said my questions came in quite fast and he needed more time to digest the questions and information. What happened was I did not allow a silence period between questions or answers to enable absorption and this made the client felt that I was only focusing on the goal instead of his needs and the whole process.

 From that moment on I have given coachees undivided attention. In the state of presence, I am more aware of their needs and it is all right to let some silence between conversations. Sometimes all they need is to be listened to without interference. By listening actively, I have discovered that my intuition shows me what I need to say and what questions coachees need in order to trigger their awareness of their current situations, challenges, and potentials.

My questions may not be powerful, but they are certainly useful looking at what my clients have benefited from coaching. Because of that, I have learnt to let my intuition guide me and combine the insights with my knowledge and experience. The collaboration is exemplary.

Hence, silence is not as scary as I used to think for in silence I hear the truth, see the possibilities, and discover what I am capable of.

A Journey to Self-Rejuvenation

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's (2008) research of "optimal experience" has disclosed that what makes a truly satisfying experience is a state of mindfulness called flow. Throughout flow, we normally experience profound enjoyment and creativity as we are so involved in life activities that nothing else seems to matter.

In coaching, I should ‘dance in the moment’- let coachees discover themselves, deeply listen to their stories with activated intuition, and ask questions based on what just came up (Whitworth, Et.al, 2007). All in all, by being present, I enjoy the flow of the conversation even more as I really get the essence of the messages, and it does not matter where it leads me to as long as clients reach “optimal experience” - they get something useful from the discussion and achieve the goals that are set at the beginning of the session. During flow, they do have their ‘aha’ moments.

Helping coachees reach their ‘aha’ moments provokes happiness, relief, and hope. Seeing them finally awake from their sleep and know what they need to do is happiness. I am happy for them and for what they have achieved at that moment. Witnessing their surprised faces when they realize they can move mountains brings relief and hope. Relief that they are able to see their situations from different angles and it also motivates me to tackle my own challenges.  

These emotions and feelings linger and I can never get tired of them because they somehow recharge my mind and soul.  Slate (2001) claims rejuvenation enhances self-empowerment to live a richer, healthier, and happier life. Knowing I am part of such awakening empowers me to rejuvenate to live a more hopeful and fulfilled life for the best is yet to come.

By and large, if a coach can benefit so much from coaching, imagine what a coachee will gain. Coaching does, profoundly, help self-discovery and growth. Throughout the process, I have revealed and restored myself. And for that I am forever grateful for the opportunities to meet and learn from some beautiful and wonderful people along my journeys. I believe nothing in this world can stop us from growing unless we stop trying and caring.

Maksimalkan potensi diri Anda dengan bantuan Self-Growth Coach kami. 

References

Arsendatama, Al Falaq, MCC. Professional Coach Certification Program. Coaching Indonesia Academy.

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. 2008. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper Perennial Modern Classics

Slate, Joe H. 2001. Rejuvenation: Strategies for Living Younger, Longer & Better. Llewellyn Publications.

Whitworth, Laura, Et al. 2007. Co-Active Coaching: New Skills for Coaching People toward Success in Work and Life. Davies-Black Publishing.