Bringing the culture of sharing to everyone

Having the tendency to say ‘yes’ habitually to anyone or any tasks offered can create problems in the workplace. I have noticed some employees have issues with having excessive workload and getting saddled by a co-worker’s responsibilities. This is because they do not want to offend anyone, do not have boundaries or are afraid to lose a job or position. Let’s look at two work situations related to those problems.  

Case #1

Jane and Dom were teammates who were working on preparing the up-coming education exhibition. Jane was responsible for marketing tools while Dom handled decoration and exhibition booths. They were both enthusiastic about the event and had worked hard. Until one day, Jane seemed to be overwhelmed and looked tired. She had too much work and was afraid that if she could not finish everything on time, it might have been an issue for the other departments.

She knew that her main issue was she often helped Dom so she did not have enough time to do her part. She also had less time to hang out with friends and family ever since she had this project. Dom normally asked for her opinion about decorating the venue and at first she was happy to help. However, sometimes she had to stay at the location for long hours because Dom wanted to implement her ideas and he said she was needed onsite.

The truth was Dom didn’t realize that he was dependent on Jane’s assistance and he kept asking for help because Jane never said no and to Dom, she seemed available.

“Many over-responsible people who work next to under-responsible people bear the consequences for their co-workers. Always covering for them, or bailing them out, they are not enjoying their work or their relationships with these people. Their lack of boundaries is hurting them, as well as keeping the other person from growing. If you are one of these people, you need to learn to set boundaries (Dr. Cloud & Dr. Townsend, 1992: 195)”.

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Saying ‘no’ and then setting boundaries can be easier when you do it in a sense of helping others to grow. If Jane does not set her limitation, Dom will not learn and be an independent co-worker. If their boss does not notice this issue, the company might lose a capable employee to burnout or exhaustion.

It is fine to assist a co-worker who genuinely need some extra hands. However, if your assistance has taken over some responsibilities and added more than you should have on your plate, you should say ‘no’. Do this because you care about yourself and your co-worker’s work performance.

Case #2

Mike was a branch manager who many employees thought of him as helpful. Often time, when someone from his team had an incomplete monthly report, Mike fixed it. He helped this particular person completed the report so that it was submitted to the head office on time.

When the marketing officer asked for a permission not to join a weekend promotional event on a car-free day because she wanted to spend more time with her kids, Mike took over her tasks for that day.  This wasn’t the first time he had to change his weekend plans. He knew that he should have stayed home with his family, but he felt sorry for her. Besides, he thought it would look good if the manager was present on that event.

 He somehow knew that he had misplaced his priority because he let his subordinates’ responsibilities saddled him. However, he wanted his boss to think that he had managed the people and branch well.

I am sure Mike’s boss would prefer him to create sales projections than to revise someone else’s report. As a leader, Mike should ensure his employees take responsibility for their duties. They might need support from him, but support does not mean taking over their responsibility. If he had prioritized his managerial tasks, he would have had more time for his family and himself.

It is wrong if you consistently allow people or conditions at work to keep you away from your friends, family, or your self-growth and dreams. Knowing when to say ‘no” and how to say it might change the quality of your life (Breitman & Hatch, 2000).

“…remember the Law of Power: You only have the power to change yourself. You can’t change another person (Dr. Cloud & Dr. Townsend, 1992: 199).”  Learn to say ‘no’ and put yourself first without feeling guilty. Build up some courage to say ‘no’ by taking ownership of how you feel, how you think and what you need.

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References

Breitman, Patti & Hatch, Connie. 2000. How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty: And Say Yes to More Time, More Joy, and What Matters Most to You. Broadway Books.

Dr. Cloud, Henry & Dr. Townsend, John. 1992. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life.  Zondervan.